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Hilary Phelps — the older sister of Olympic swimming champMichael Phelps— is opening up about her sobriety journey after keeping it a secret for 15 years.
Phelps said she had her first drink at 14 years old. Despite being a straight-A student and competitive swimmer, she kept feeling like she “wasn’t enough” and “getting drunk was a way to kind of quiet those voices. It numbed that pain.”
By the time she reached college, Phelps said she was partying all the time and blacking out regularly, describing herself as a “volatile and dramatic” drunk.
“There were so many rock bottoms,” she told the outlet. “I’d be hungover every day at work and just sitting there trying to keep my head up. I had pain in my kidneys. My body physically hurt.”
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She explained that her roommates even staged an intervention for her alcoholism but were unsuccessful.
“A lot of people think that alcoholism is a willingness thing,” Phelps said. “Like, if you really want to quit, you can. But I physically couldn’t stop.”
To show how much alcoholism impacted her, she recalled a moment when she tried to have just one glass of wine before bed. “My skin started to crawl. I was anxious,” she said. “Next thing, I’m in the bathroom downing a bottle of NyQuil. That’s what this disease does to you.”
It wasn’t until 2007, when Phelps realized she was “tired of feeling awful all the time,” that she decided to get help for herself. She admitted that taking that step was terrifying because “alcohol had become my safety.”
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After a reality check from a friend and former drinking partner who had since given up alcohol, Phelps ultimately checked into a detox facility. She was prescribed Antabuse — a daily drug which produces violent illness and even convulsions if alcohol is taken into the system — started yoga and attended 12-step meetings for her substance abuse.
She credits Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) for saving her life and keeping her on track over the years, learning coping mechanisms and changing the way she thinks about drinking.
“I pictured this sad room filled with creepy men in trench coats, but meetings are wonderful. You hear these crazy stories, and then there are huge successes and joys,” she explained. “I’ve never laughed harder than I do in 12-step meetings because everyone is just real and honest and vulnerable.”
Phelps celebrated 15 years of sobriety in June 2022. With those resources, she toldTodaythat she was also able to get throughthe death of her father, Fred, in October without relapsing.
“My dad and I were exceptionally close. After he died, all I wanted to do was go to a bar and get wasted — to numb the pain,” she admitted, boasting that she went to an AA meeting instead. “I’m happy. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. Everything got better after I shared my secret. You’re only as sick as your secrets, and now that I’ve let it out, I’m free.”
source: people.com
