Sites like Indiegogo and Kickstarter are capital for raising money to build a cool looking lamp or mastermind a picture blast on your iPad . But they ’re also double-dyed forgetting multitude to give you money for no ground at all .

After read about the story of Karen Klein — an upstate New York bus proctor hassle to the point of tears by shithead middle school Thomas Kid — I was inspired . An Indiegogo movement to begin with intended to place Klein on a nice holiday has turn into a $ 200,000 + retirement fund within twenty-four hour period . Now the gent who started the monetary fund — a good deed , no doubt — has turned into a ego - promoting Polemonium van-bruntiae whore , promote masses to buy his book and donate to a “ advantage ” campaign to literally make up him back for being a good soul . There ’s even an Indiegogo military campaign to reinforce the swell who started the wages military campaign . Internet pseud - charity , an infinite regress .

So why not me ? I ’m hungry today , as incline to take place in the afternoon , and food near Gizmodo HQ is overprice . Sure , I could pay for it with the money I make by writing posts like these , but in the era of the loose crowdsourced handout ? Why would I ? Only suckers spend their own money in 2012 . Why should anyone pay for anything of their own if strangers are willing to fork over cash for nothing ? Crowdsource an answer to that , why do n’t you .

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So here ’s an Indiegogo drive to buy me lunch — I used a photo of pad thai , but I do n’t feel beholden to any particular cuisine . mayhap even smoothies are eligible ? I ’ll have to fit Indiegogo ’s term of service .

The land site wo n’t let you coiffure a minimum destination less than $ 500 , so it suffer at $ 500 — about 50 dejeuner , I imagine . Or one big one . Campaigns require zero vetting process whatsoever , though I am being fully gossamer . I just want to spend this money on luncheon — it wo n’t go toward any PS3 games or vehement comic books . What ’s really awful is that the money is funneled forthwith to me — I do n’t even need to meet the goal ! And if your donors apply PayPal , I receive the moolah instantaneously , rather than hold to wait for the bummer “ movement deadline . ” Can you imagine a better way to launder money for drugs or some variety of violence ? It ’s brilliant ! mention : I am not wash money for drugs or some form of vehemence .

So what ’s the secret to successfully leeching money ? Just ask people if you may leech money from them . After twirp the linkup and send it around to some buddy , I ’ve already netted $ 104 and count for the food fund . Most people chipped in a few bucks just because of the stupid novelty of the whole thing . I am , however , contractually obligated to eat luncheon with the large spenders who dangle over $ 25 — a “ perk ” I tote up to facilitate drive donations . It ’s operate !

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So what ’s block you ? You could be laughing all the way to the food shop . With a few minutes of type and clicking , you ’ve got a visually likeable , thoroughly functional way to make your own slush fund — you could really just drop a line in “ give me money because I need money , ” fill out a introductory personal visibility , and your money - esophagus is overt for business . We ’re hoping this is n’t some hidden flesh of fraud , but until it ’s rule to be in a tribunal of law , I ’ll be eating on the internet ’s dime bag . draw up a chair , wo n’t you ?

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